A question for workshop sponsors: instructors with young children

topic posted Fri, July 24, 2009 - 1:37 AM by  michelle
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Hi Everyone

I am currently 5 months pregnant with my first baby. In the past few years I have been lucky enough to get great workshop gigs all over the world, and I don't want to have to give that up when the baby comes. I can't really leave an infant at home for a week at a time, so I am thinking that I might just bring her along on my travels. I'm wondering how many workshop instructors do this. I know that Suhaila has always traveled with her daughter, even when she was very young. Is it unusual/unreasonable to ask a workshop sponsor to arrange childcare while I'm teaching (even if I pay for it)? Would it be completely unreasonable to schedule baby feeding breaks into a busy workshop weekend? Am I completely crazy to think that I can do this?

Belly dance is a celebration of the female body, and certainly motherhood is all part of that. But I'm wondering just how baby friendly the workshop business practices really are. I'd love to hear about your experiences.

Thanks,
Michelle
posted by:
michelle
SF Bay Area
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  • IMO

    Fri, July 24, 2009 - 2:37 AM
    It would be best if you can bring a 'nannie' with you, someone you know will take good care of your child. Otherwise, you are depending on strangers to find / provide qualified care for your baby. Unfortunately, ordering good child care is not like ordering pizza. If the person who is minding your child doesn't care a LOT about her safety and happiness (not simply doing it to oblige the busy workshop organizaers) then you have a tragic accident waiting to happen, IMO.
    • Re: IMO

      Fri, July 24, 2009 - 3:29 AM
      I was just gonna suggest the same, it's better to bring a trusted friend along.
      You can't expect organizers to pay any extra cost though but if you have a good friend you would come as your babysitter & assistant in exchange for something else, I think for the students it shouldn't be any problem, maybe rather inspiring! (Only make sure the class isn't disrupted).
    • Re: IMO

      Fri, July 24, 2009 - 8:52 AM
      I am aware that childcare isn’t like ordering a pizza. Like all working moms, there will be times when I need to leave my child in the hands of a professional childcare provider. I’m fine with that. I was imagining someone to sit with the sleeping baby in the next room while the workshops were happening. My question is more about standard practices (if any) that exist between instructors and sponsors.

      Sadly, flying someone out from the other side of the world to watch my baby for a few hours is not financially realistic. Having my mom or my husband come out to each international venue would be thousands and thousands of dollars… not to mention that they have day jobs and couldn’t get away.

      There must be nanny agencies with qualified, responsible babysitters or certified childcare centers with good reputations in most of the world. Something like that would be very hard to research organize from overseas... especially where there are language barriers involved. So my only real hope would be the workshop sponsor’s help.

      Anyone have experiences with this issue? Surely women with babies teach workshops and travel all the time… or do they? What sorts of additions should be made to my contract to assure that this is a smooth experience? Does anyone have specific childcare requirements outlined in their contracts?
      • Re: IMO

        Fri, July 24, 2009 - 12:03 PM
        I don't think I can help much, but I have seen workshop instructor sbring there children to the workshop and have them sit in the corner and color. but these children are not babies.
      • Re: IMO

        Fri, July 24, 2009 - 12:59 PM
        <I was imagining someone to sit with the sleeping baby in the next room while the workshops were happening.>

        If only babysitting were that simple...

        I don't think it should be the responsibility of the organizer to totally arrange childcare for you, since she may not have the same criteria as you do about what is appropriate and necessary. You could ask if they have any recommendations and if they could help with any language issues, but otherwise I think that's a lot of pressure to put on them. I would imagine that you could find something online for any place you might be going to. And of course you won't know what kind of baby you have until s/he's here and you find out; the child *might* be an easy baby and sleep well, etc...but s/he might also be colicky or overly fussy, etc.

        As a student, I would not necessarily be totally understanding if an instructor took time out of the actual workshop to feed and/or care for her baby, since that's my time that is being taken away. You may want to consider building in a break for however long you need--that's totally understandable. I would also not appreciate a wailing baby in the next room, and I would discourage bringing the baby into the room and holding them, etc as you try and teach (like say you're explaining something and everyone is sitting down and listening or whatever). I know from experience that a baby in a classroom is an instant distraction for everyone, and severely diminishes the effectiveness of what is being taught.

        I know I probably sound like a baby-hater in all this, but I'm actually far from that...I love babies and children but when it comes time to do work, they can often be a huge distraction. Certainly not always, but often. As for mothers with babies traveling and teaching all the time...I don't think that happens nearly as much as you are imagining. The dancers and teachers I know who have small children did have to curtail their travel/teaching or have their husbands/partners help them immensely. I certainly don't think it's impossible and I really hope to hear about solutions (speaking as a dancer/teacher who is planning on having children in the next few years)...I hope the little one can join you and you get to continue on with your work.

        Good luck!
        • Re: IMO

          Fri, July 24, 2009 - 4:10 PM
          Leila of Cairo travels with her beautiful little boy. BUT- apart from in Cairo I've only seen her here in MD, where Yasmin sponsors her. They had a previously established relationship, and a friendship, so I think that makes a difference in childcare.
          I took a private from her the last time she was here. I brought my teenage daughter with me to watch Leila's baby. *shrug* We also already knew each other though, and I think that makes a difference.
      • Re: IMO

        Fri, July 24, 2009 - 4:29 PM
        You might just have to be more selective in the gigs you take- either close enough where you can bring someone (which is what I have done for business trips a couple times- mom even paid her airfare once 'cause she said it was her vacation- yeah mom!) or somewhere where you do have someone you can trust already present or a reliable childcare service. A friend of mine has gone to conferences where a childcare center was available on site, so such venues do exist, but boy! I'd think they'd be hard to track down! If you do find such venues, unfortunately they are not cheap either, so be prepared to pay even for that option.

        It might simply be time to explore teaching options closer to/in your area, or find other ways of branching out right now. Motherhood may be part of the celebration of femininity that we like to think comes with this dance, but it is not necessarily part of international business structure.
        • Re: IMO

          Fri, July 24, 2009 - 5:59 PM
          I've often wondered if it would be beneficial to set up a child care service for workshops. I know there are a lot of moms who can't really leave their children at home for one reason or another. I wonder how many people would take advantage of that...
      • Hm...

        Fri, July 24, 2009 - 9:48 PM
        I seem to have rubbed you the wrong way. Apologies. However, childcare issues are universal, whether you are a workshop teacher or a programmer or a waitress. There are large differences in what is perceived as professional child care between professionals in the same city, never mind about professionals in different countries. How the child handles the differences will depend on the child. Some kids it will not bother, and others will be thrown for a loop in ways that will cause unpleasant repercussions for your family. Yes, just one day can do damage, and I'm not talking child abuse. Until you know what kind of child you have, arranging for a familar and trusted face is a safe way to go.

        Assuming that the only assistance you will require is to mind a sleeping baby is not realistic. Some babies do sleep a lot during the day, at least at first, but for most of them that soon passes and they want to be up and doing, which means you need a child-care giver who is on their toes and engaged.

        There's also the issue of infection. Some kids don't ever get sick, but other kids catch stuff at the drop of a hat, and the more strangers they are exposed to the more they get sick. You are not going to enjoy trying to get home from the other side of the world with a baby with an ear infection. Plus I assume you will have to be purchasing international health insurance for the babe... is that expensive?

        There's a legal and an artistic issue as well. As a (small) workshop organizer, I would not be interested in assuming liability for the welfare of your child. Our insurance is expensive enough, and I've seen the distraction that one small figet who is trying to be good can create. If the child was old enough, and I knew the teacher well enough, I might refer her to some possible caretakers, but i would want the child to be taken care of off campus where there is no likelihood of the teacher getting sucked into maternal mode and for students to assume that it is okay to bring THEIR 'sleeping babies' to the next day. And unless I knew you well, I'd be wondering if you'd actually show up -- what happens if the child comes down with a fever, a broken bone, the flu? Many professionals won't want to take care of a sick child because that turns them into a vector of infection.

        It is unfortunate that child care expenses eat largely into the income of working moms, whether dancer, programmer or waitress. In many instances Mom ends up working for no profit just to keep her place in the world and her career on track while she gets the kid(s) through childcare and into regular (free) school. You may be entering that phase of your life. Frankly, if it were me, I'd plan on staying close to home nursing her/him for six months, and then I'd put a lot of effort into making sure the child was well cared for at home and by people s/he trusts. If circumstances and child's temperament allows you more latitude faster, go forth and conquer. But suggest you get familar with your child's needs first.

        good luck etc
        • Re: Hm...

          Sat, July 25, 2009 - 2:38 PM
          "I seem to have rubbed you the wrong way. Apologies."

          No worries, it isn't that I was rubbed the wrong way... I was more trying to clarify my question for fear that it would become a debate about mothers working in general. I worked for a nanny agency for 7 years and did loads of hotel jobs for women who were traveling with infants for business. Just never heard of such an arrangement for belly dancers. I even used to teach parenting classes for at-risk mothers when I worked as a family therapist. So personality differences in babies, psychological affects of childcare, and safety issues are all things that I have thought about.

          I guess when I imagine myself doing workshops I am thinking about this one German woman who hired me through her hotel in my old nanny days. She was in the US for a week lecturing at a confrence downstairs while I was upstairs in her room with her infant. She would run up to nurse during breaks then run back downstairs to lecture. I thought that was really cool.


  • I have not sponsored bellydance workshops, but I organize a major semiannual conference for my job and have organized hundreds of workshops and conferences throughout the years. The issue of childcare always comes up. Cost, quality and liability issues make providing childcare a dicey proposition for any promoter or organizer. Even if they are able to afford quality (and therefore often costly) care, the insurance liability concerns and cost usually becomes prohibitive. In all of my time, I've only attended two conferences that provided childcare, that I felt was truly quality. One was a feminist oriented event, which I understood decidedly ran in the red each year, and the other was sponsored by a corporate entity with big bucks (and a female CEO.)

    In your case, personal relationships with promoters may enable you to cut a special deal. Or maybe this is an issue that the bellydance community should begin to more seriously consider and organize around. Just a thought.

    Take care of yourself and that precious bundle Michelle. Shimmy on!

    Tammy

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